Your boyfriend seems to think I’m being unpleasant to you — he’s debating whether or not to come break up our fight.

I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back to me.

My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.

Who were you, an insignificant little girl, to chase me from the place I wanted to be?

Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.

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You already know how I feel, of course. I’m here… which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you.

Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?

Your number was up the first time I met you.

I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don’t exist, not irritating me to death.

This truck is old enough to be your car’s grandfather — have some respect.